IX

In Glaucon’s challenge to Socrates he imposes the fact that humans are evil by nature but only abide to law because of fear of consequence. In a manner of the stupid character representing the opposite of the opinion of the author, Glaucon’s words are, of course, disregarded, but when you think about it really, nowadays society proves otherwise. People are assholes left and right and you have to deal with it. You either become a rug for everyone to step on or another asshole, there’s no real mid ground here.

That just leaves on question: What is conscience? It’s not fact, but an opinion of mine (like I’d relay anything else here) that it’s another species self preserving mechanism. We can’t kill/steal from each other without feeling guilt because we are interfering with natural selection and fucking up the species. It doesn’t manifest as much for other species because it’s an inner species thing more. I could be wrong, as always.

It seems that every passing day I discover that the values I believed in are not present in my life. Affection is definitely not present, fairness is nowhere to be seen, equality is inexistent, intelligence is on the verge of extinction. All’s left seems to be friendship and oddly enough I/time/people seem to be severing ties more and more. Oh well, I hope nothing pushes me over the edge as long as I half self preservation and music.

Impass III

Why is my brain empty for long periods of time? Because I am stupid.

VIII

Is this what it really has come to? Is really the group that I am a part of just a bunch of whiny teenagers going on adulthood with the same fucking ideas and conceptions of life? Does nothing ever change until you’re too old for it to matter? Is there really nothing more to this? I don’t think I’ve met a single intelligent person in four years. Not that I’ve met many before that, but it was still something above 0 and I was much younger so it really is something excusable. But really? I thought that after you pass the age of 18 you actually grow the fuck up and start understanding what this shit is all about. Say I’ll just give or take two years, but if I don’t see anything change when I’m 20 either than by hell I’ve lost all my hope in humanity. There is really no redeeming factor here. We’re a society that has been heading more and more into the shitter and it seems nothing is done to change that. Each passing generation we become more flamboyant, stupider, and as superficial as you can get? Is there no limit to this, no bounceback? Is there no hope that INTELLIGENT life forms still exist? Jesus, I hope there is…I hope there is.

I’m a freaking whiny teenager myself, but my problems are not my stupid daily social life and I don’t whine to it to people that have nothing to do. Heck, I don’t talk about it to people that do have a saying and might help because it’s none of their fucking business. And god damn it I at least have some common sense and SOME sort of intellectual pursuit, be at silly and  pointless as it is, I am trying to elevate myself bit by bit.

Can someone just clarify this for me? What the fuck is wrong and where did it go wrong?

Impas II

A full day of sleep and I still managed to sleep untill 9 am the other one. Sleep, the great time tief and bringer of nightmares. Another day, another drawing. The glimmer in his eyes is gone, his expression seems to be asking "What do you want of me?"

Impass

My mind is completely blank. Not a single thought worth writing down. Just one of those days. Have a picture of a super sayain playing a hairy bass guitar instead.

VII

Religion (Christianity, in particular): is it a tool for manipulation of the masses or (having already established it might not really be a fact, and not really wanting to go –there-) an innocent idea that turned out bad eventually? Maybe the bible really is just a fictional book and people back in the day took it way overboard? Come to think of it, it matches that profile. Every book you read has some sort of lesson to teach you, and the bible is full of those. Little stories teaching morals, social behavior, generosity and all around acts of good which are actually desirable in a society. The only thing it does wrong is trying to explain incomprehensible facts with simple-minded (for our times) answers. To actually believe in such things takes a lot of conditioning from a fairly young age, which is almost…like brainwashing. I don’t understand why we must fall into extremes. We should just take the good bits out of it and the rest for its belletristic value. I’m pretty sure going to the extremes is something mentioned against in that one book, but it seems like another case of people finding certain meanings in literature which were never there to begin with. I’m not a religious guy at all. I don’t follow tradition, or go to church. And though I am an asshole some of the time, I am mostly an all around good person. And I never needed the fear of being eternally punished instilled into me. It’s just another extreme.

Then there are the other religions that actually have awesome mythologies. Whether it is Greek, Roman, or even Norse, mythology seems to be always a collection of awesome stories, sometimes teaching something, sometimes just entertaining. They probably got dismissed as silly as time went by which is why they’re not really present anymore, which is maybe a shame, maybe for the best. Imagine if you actually did die and go get drunk with awesome she-angles and other warriors? I tend to like Norse mythos in particular too much…

The point where it goes wrong is when people wage wars on the claim their religion is right. It gets wrong when they ask money and make money off things like this. It’s a vile corruption of both ancient and modern society, and it should stop. But then again, I guess it just fits in the great scheme of a society centered on economy. And it’s true, it’s no longer governments ruling over nations, it’s corporations.  And it’s not even a shadowy scheme, it’s all face up cards:

“Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives.”

We’re all supposed to fit into this mold, this stencil of an average human that is fed to us repeatedly and exponentially.

VI

It takes a while for anyone smart enough to realize that everything they value doesn’t really exist. Because we’ve built ourselves rainbow painted cardboard boxes that we live in. It all easily falls down once you touch the walls. But I still don’t think suicide is the right answer. The only problem is that the individuals who see that these values are missing are so few that even if they joined efforts they wouldn’t be able to change something. I guess that’s what life’s like. Shit happens and you get sad and mop, but you have to. If you don’t, it will all build up, and that ends a lot worse. You just have to deal with it. Even if there’s nothing left, you still have yourself and your thoughts.

I’m going to go ahead and open up a subject I think is gay and stupid: love. The definition I know of love was thought to me not by experience and feeling, but by movies and songs. And that’s a very, very bad thing, because that love either doesn’t exist or nobody wants it. Nobody wants it except ‘hopeless romantics’ and the irony is that it seems two people who actually match barely ever meet. And even with realizing this I am stupid, and I can’t stress that. I am as stupid and retarded as they can get for wanting, no believing and hoping something like that could happen. It’s a stupid stubborn feeling of yearning I just can’t kill no matter how hard I try. It’s the stupid pro-creation mechanism built-in by nature. Or maybe I am just extraordinarily stupid. I’m leaning more towards the second. Maybe it’s the lack of affection I grew up with? Who knows? Who cares except me? Probably nobody.

This always happens. Whenever I write something I always feel like going back and expanding upon most of the subjects I talked about. Is it because I forget to talk more about them, or because the idea arrives later? It sucks that a written test doesn’t work like a word document. It sucks you can’t go back and write that stuff. But I guess maybe that’s a good metaphor for life. You can either be please with the paper(life) as you wrote it or start all over, which that takes time which you probably don’t have. You can never go back and fix stuff just like that.

Heh, even when I take time to write something and think about it much I still don’t make valid points, but whatever.

V

Here’s a dilemma. Why call it electric charge as from the name of an electron if protons also have an electric charge? Maybe it’s just a linguistic thing. It’s funny, because our main stimuli are electric charges, we die when we are electrocuted. How would it be if our thoughts circulated, let’s say chemically? Would be a lot slower, but would we be immune to electric shocks? Just a theory.

Douchebag says:

Ah but you are wrong mister potatolover

 Roses are a good symbol of love, because that's what it is

 a way to express the need for species perpetuation to an apparently highly inteligent life form

Other douchebag says:

 it's a symbol

Douchebag says:

 Everything you like about someone is mostly based around how good you feel your offspring will be

 because of the competition mechanism of evolution

Other douchebag says:

 the whole point is dumb anyway

 "so that's like saying, my love for you is transitory and based soley on appearance"

Douchebag says:

 It's also the need for social interraction out of fear that you won't make it out alone

 andyes

 roses are pretty and fragile

 and that's what a relationship makes us feel

 which is why it IS a good symbol

 potatoes are grown so that we can eat and shit them

 roses are grown so we can look and smell at them.

 You don't feel sorry when you shit a potato you just ate

 you feel sorry when a rose withers and dies

Other douchebag says:

 i think you are going a little too far with this

Douchebag says:

 maybe

 should've probably layed my thoughs out on that crappy blog of mine

I'm lazy, I'll just lay that out. I didn't even have the decency to lay that out in a structured paragraph. Also, other douchebag is not Mr. Potatolover.

IV

Oh Theatre’s Brewery, how I love you. Not because you sell dark beer, not because it’s in one litter pints, not because it’s cheap, not because of the nice and sweet waitress with big boobs, not because I always come with friends, not because there’s always good music, not because I get to watch Bear Grylls, not because we always laugh, not because of the welcoming atmosphere and not because I can always go there. It’s because you make me feel happy, and that’s what anything you love should do to you, make you happy. I’m surprised I only fell once. Try walking outside while the roads are snowy and icy and you’re drunk. It’s an awesome experience. I never smile, especially when I am alone, but I smiled the whole bus ride home. It never happens. Never. But I’m drunk, I shouldn’t give a shit. Maybe I’m not drunk enough, I can still discern between feelings and thoughts. I’d love another beer, but I’d love it more if I could keep my chicken skewers down. It’s an awesome night.