Today I am a sad man. Today it has finally happened.Today it seems that I have no means to distract myself from my meaningless existance. Nothing is fun anymore, nothing entertaining. Just long drawn out hours upon hours of nothing. This is even worse than sleeping, because at least with sleeping I'm not conscious. It all keeps going on and I have no idea what to do to change anything. I must not forget, I am stuck here forever. And by ever I mean the loose definition of my lifetime. If only ceilings were more interesting to stare at.
And I even know what the problem is here. I have become too social without becoming sociable enough. I've grown dependent upon others without my own will. It just happened over time and now I can only change within more time. I don't like people and I don't want to depend upon them for entertainment, everything else is fine. I'm too selfish, self-centered and egotistical to be able to accept other people, if only there was a cloning machine or something... Geez.
It rained yesterday. I like rain, especially spring rain. The smell of grass, the feeling of water pouring on you, the relaxing sound, the chilly breeze, and best of all, the low amout of people outside. I want it to rain again.
