Right-Click > Convert to... analogy

Alright. Say you're this kid born in the  1920's and you never meet your father. Say your mother and everyone else tells you that your father is a highly influential illusive rich man that will always be watching you but never interferes dirrectly with your life. You also get told he loves you very much, but if you do not believe he's your father you will get beat up pretty bad. So you go through life and he pays a bunch of guys to pick on you in high school, you get fired from every job, but he also leaves random 100$ bills you find and pays this one girl at some point to show affection to you, but you don't think that he actually does all of this even though the same people tell you he does. So you grow up not to believe in him because if he is really rich and loves you he wouldn't let you have such a shitty life, and you can't afford a private detective and DNA tests don't exist for you to prove anything. And then one day you randomly run into him and you get knocked out. You wake up in this red room where an ex-employee of him just beats the living shit out of you and then nurses you back to health to beat the shit out of you again. For the rest of your life. And your father is there watching. Because he loves you.

VII

Religion (Christianity, in particular): is it a tool for manipulation of the masses or (having already established it might not really be a fact, and not really wanting to go –there-) an innocent idea that turned out bad eventually? Maybe the bible really is just a fictional book and people back in the day took it way overboard? Come to think of it, it matches that profile. Every book you read has some sort of lesson to teach you, and the bible is full of those. Little stories teaching morals, social behavior, generosity and all around acts of good which are actually desirable in a society. The only thing it does wrong is trying to explain incomprehensible facts with simple-minded (for our times) answers. To actually believe in such things takes a lot of conditioning from a fairly young age, which is almost…like brainwashing. I don’t understand why we must fall into extremes. We should just take the good bits out of it and the rest for its belletristic value. I’m pretty sure going to the extremes is something mentioned against in that one book, but it seems like another case of people finding certain meanings in literature which were never there to begin with. I’m not a religious guy at all. I don’t follow tradition, or go to church. And though I am an asshole some of the time, I am mostly an all around good person. And I never needed the fear of being eternally punished instilled into me. It’s just another extreme.

Then there are the other religions that actually have awesome mythologies. Whether it is Greek, Roman, or even Norse, mythology seems to be always a collection of awesome stories, sometimes teaching something, sometimes just entertaining. They probably got dismissed as silly as time went by which is why they’re not really present anymore, which is maybe a shame, maybe for the best. Imagine if you actually did die and go get drunk with awesome she-angles and other warriors? I tend to like Norse mythos in particular too much…

The point where it goes wrong is when people wage wars on the claim their religion is right. It gets wrong when they ask money and make money off things like this. It’s a vile corruption of both ancient and modern society, and it should stop. But then again, I guess it just fits in the great scheme of a society centered on economy. And it’s true, it’s no longer governments ruling over nations, it’s corporations.  And it’s not even a shadowy scheme, it’s all face up cards:

“Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives.”

We’re all supposed to fit into this mold, this stencil of an average human that is fed to us repeatedly and exponentially.

I

          And so the movie (Good Will Hunting) ends with one of those bullshit love and good conquer all. But that's not how it happens. That's not how life works. It always ends badly. You go through life with a moderate amount of pleasant events and a load of other unpleasant ones and then what happens? You die. Some kind of reward that is. But wait, apparently there is a reward! If you're all nice and gullible you go to a awesome eternal peacefulness plane called 'Heaven'. Not only did we need to come up with an explanation for our existence, but we also had to think of some bullshit way to punish those who do not believe the fairy tales we've come up with.

But enough on that subject. I'm not good at anything. I can't draw, I’m not smart, I’m not sociable. I don't understand a fucking atom and how its electrons are set up around it or why “Morometii” is a modern post-war novel and I most certainly don't want to and don't think it is important or it will affect my life directly. I just want to break free of all these material and spiritual concepts. And I don’t mean go down the final solution, no that’s stupid. I literally mean cease to exist, eternal blackness and blankness. No fear, love, hate, hunger, fatigue, nothing at all. Just pure blackness, me, my thoughts and eternal silence would be all that ever existed. I keep ending up wishing that’s how death IS but don’t want to try and go there because I became attached to something. And not to people, I hate and like people. No, it’s the conveniences such as a cold glass of cola when you’re tired and a movie or game when you’re bored. I’m afraid I couldn’t go live without those. I’d like to say I don’t want the final solution, i.e. suicide, because I care about who’s going to be sad and what not, but I don’t. It’s the fear of lack of commodity and fear of pain.

I have to be trapped in this world where man shapes his surroundings. We could just live like animals, maybe stick to that spear that Ung came up with. But no, we had to go further and beyond, make swords, then bows the crossbows and guns so we can outlaw them and kill each other with and kill the animals in enclosed facilities with machines designed only for chopping them so Billy from down the street can have his processed pork steak dinner. Fuck this. We could have lived a simple life away from thoughts we think because we are not doing something else like trying to survive. Why are we all so depressed and stressed out is because we are not meant to develop the mental capacity we have. We’re supposed to be chasing that stupid squirrel for a meal so that we don’t starve, but we’ve made such a padded-walls-world that even natural selection has been driven out and we’re butt fucking ourselves because of overpopulation .Wake up, you moronic retards.

I really wish I could just stay and do nothing all day staring at shit on the internet. But I can’t even do what I like most all the time because I can discern it’s not going to put food on my table. And I don’t want to struggle all my life to make ends meet. We all end up grinding ourselves for that stuff anyway, but bah…