XIII

My quest to find an intelligent life form on par with me that is willing to discuss anything continues.

There won’t be any need for that; you have me, don’t you?

Go away. I can’t even make you up properly.

Maybe if you try hard enough…

Even I don’t have enough mental capacity to simulate two people.

You seem to, though.

No, no, no. It’s not right. It’s pointless to talk to myself, I’m just throwing ideas at a brick wall, we’ll always agree.

With enough practice, you’ll be able to produce and support two different standpoints on each issue.

Maybe… After all, it’s better than nothing… But there’s nothing to discuss really.

Again with that eternal dissatisfaction. You have what to discuss, but no partner, you get a partner and you have nothing to discuss. A blank mind is very annoying. And lamenting to yourself about it doesn’t help at all. Think of something.

But I can’t.

Again with the excuses. There’s so many subjects to think about, and yet...

My mind is blank. A lost sea of despair in the middle of an empty desert. My mind reflects my status. I can’t think of anything because I don’t want to think of anything. My mental capacity is reserved for lamenting endlessly. My body longs to sleep from the minute it wakes up to the minute I close my eyes. I am tired, pissed off and fed up with all the useless work I put into each day. All the motivation wasted on waking up only to do the same menial things, day by day. And what awaits me? Death. Nothing I can be sure of, no substantial reward, but then again, why would I even be rewarded out of the countless individuals doing the same?

Because you’re special.

No I’m not. The fact I am following the same pattern even though I am aware of it shows that.

It’s because you want to stay in normality, or chose the easy way out.

That’s true. I’m too lazy to change. I always was too lazy for many things.

Was it that hard?

It’s never hard to reflect on oneself. That’s not my aim however.

Thinking about the world’s problems doesn’t solve them. Thinking about your own, might.   
I wish to cease existing.